Retrospect and Anxiety: Book 1
by Ministry Ink
Summary: Eighteen years ago, Harry Potter was assigned to find Draco Malfoy, who had been missing since the Battle of Hogwarts. Finding that the case had gone cold, Harry gave up hope, thinking that the blonde would never be seen again. Then, when his middle child, Albus Severus, started his first year at Hogwarts, everything changed. HP/DM, HP/GW, RW/HG, AS/S.
1. Prologue

A.N.- First story in a long time, and it's going to be a long one. Hope you guys like it. :)

Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately.

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_Retrospect and Anxiety_

**Prologue-January 13,1999**

Harry Potter looked up from a particularly intimidating stack of papers on his desk at the sound of a sharp rap on his office door.

"Come in," he called, dropping his head into his hands just long enough to run his fingers through his perpetually wayward hair.

"Er, hi mate, long day?" Ron Weasley asked, barely hiding the concern coloring his voice as he settled himself in a chair opposite Harry.

"Mmm, you could say that. Bloody paperwork. Did you know about this when we signed on for this job, because I, for one, would have had to take that into careful consideration."

"Too right. I have enough case files on my desk at the moment to completely bury me alive. It's really too bad I can't ask Hermione to do my work for me anymore."

Harry snorted, managing to contain an eye-roll, but only just barely.

"You know she wouldn't do it for you anyway."

"Honestly Ronald," Ron mimicked in falsetto, "if you only applied yourself instead of hanging out and placing bets on Quidditch matches all day..."

That earned him a sincere laugh from the raven haired boy, but he sobered quickly, rembering that Ron must've had a purpose for being sat across from him at the moment.

"So, uh, Ron, did you need something?"

The ginger haired boy scuffed his shoes, and blew out a big breath, looking anywhere but at his friend. Harry just groaned, knowing without a doubt that he was about to be in deep shit.

"Oh spit it out already, will you?"

"Okay, okay. Well I overheard Robard talking earlier, and it sounded like you might be getting a new case."

Harry shot him a look of incredulity, scoffing at the obviousness of his best friend's confession.

"Mhm, yeah, and? We get cases all the time, Ron. It's what we do."

"I know, but uh. We don't usually get cases like this."

"What exactly are you getting at here?"

"Well, I heard that Robard wants to put you on figuring out the whereabouts of, er, Malfoy actually. You know that he's been missing since the war, and well, I guess someone has to do it."

"You have got to be kidding me," Harry replied, taking off his glasses and briefly pinching the bridge of his nose before putting them back in place.

"Wish I was, mate."

Ignoring the almost painful flop of his stomach, Harry sighed deeply, trying to wrap his head around the news.

Yeah, this case was definitely not the usual, and it could very well just drive him insane.


	2. Chapter 1

A.N.- Hi guys! So you'll see by the end of this chapter that the story is a bit AU. Also, I wanted to mention that I will be shifting focus between Harry and Al.

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_Retrospect and Anxiety_

Chapter One-Harry

Harry Potter was no stranger to worrying dreams, but to say that he would be baffled by this one upon awakening was an understatement. Why the hell was he being attacked by the branches of a tree, and for that matter, what had he done to the tree to provoke it so? With one final, and particularly violent, jab of the trees withered fingers into the junction of his ribcage and his sternum, Harry was at last jarred awake.

Mumbling swear words in a low progression under his breath, he racked one brilliant green eye open, and found, as always, that the room was entirely too bright for his liking.

As it happened, the brightness of the room wasn't the only thing he noticed. Looming over him with a look of frustration, and a face splattered with freckles, was his youngest child, Lily.

"Daddy, I thought you were never going to wake up. I'd been poking you and poking you and you just kept on snoring."

So, he had found his tree. Well that was a relief, he thought as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, willing himself to devote his full attention to his daughter instead of the painful longing he had for his pillow. "Mmm. Sorry Lils, work has left me knackered lately, that's all."

She seemed to soften a little at that, the line of frustration between her eyebrows dissolving slowly, to be replaced with a concern in her eyes far beyond her years. She was so very much her mother's daughter.

"It's okay, Daddy," Lily replied, patting his hair in what she thought to be a comforting gesture. Harry smiled, continually amazed at the gentleness that his child possessed. "Well, I mean, James and Al are fighting again, and I think they're going to wreck the kitchen, but…"

Harry groaned. Leave it to his sons to cause trouble, or more likely, James to provoke Al into another argument. His oldest son could be ruthless sometimes.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming. You go tell your brothers that if there is a mess when I get down there that their brooms are gone for a week."

"But James and Al leave for Hogwarts tomorrow."

"Well then I guess their punishment will just have to carry over into the holiday, won't it?"

There was a sparkle in his youngest child's eyes as she nodded. She got such satisfaction when it was her siblings rather than her getting punished.

"'Kay, but Mum will be home from Grandma Molly's house soon and she told me to remind you about the trip to Diagon Alley for school stuff later."

Harry nodded, shoving his glasses up the bridge if his nose and tossing the covers back. "I remember. Now you get on downstairs to warn your brothers. I'll be down in a minute."

Lily turned on her heel, her fiery hair flowing behind her as she propelled towards the door.

Harry just laughed, setting his bare feet on the hard floor and resigning himself to the long day ahead of him.

* * *

"I don't see why I had to get in trouble," Al started, a tinge of petulance coloring his voice. "It was James who started it."

Ginny didn't doubt that for one second. Her youngest son didn't have a particularly mischievous personality. That's not to say that he couldn't be mischievous per se, it's just that he didn't usually provoke the antics he got into. That was James' specialty. They were a world apart, James and Al. James with his knack for being boisterous and loud, pranking and provoking everyone he met, and Al's quiet disposition and preference for books and alone time.

"Because you were involved just as much as James, Albus. No brooms for a week, and don't go thinking you're going to get out of it just because you start school tomorrow. You can work on the rest of your punishment on holiday, and if hear another complaint out of either of you you'll spend the rest of the holiday de-gnoming the garden in the snow."

James looked as if he wanted to say something, but thought better of it, and Lily smirked triumphantly at her mother's stern words.

"And if you don't stop torturing them about it, Lily Luna, you'll be right there in the garden with them," Ginny warned with a sharp look in her direction.

Lily sobered up quickly, ashamedly thinking that she liked her dad so much better than she did her mum. Harry hardly ever punished her. It was safe to say that she had him wrapped around her small pale finger.

"Great, well. Now that we've got that settled, can we get going?" Harry interjected with a glance at his watch. "At this rate, we'll be home around midnight."

Ginny rolled her eyes at his newfound insistence on punctuality, and shoved him playfully as she herded the kids out the front door of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place.

* * *

A robe fitting that both Harry and Lily found exquisitely boring, an unfortunate incident at Ollivander's that started a fire that Ginny had to extinguish before it burned the whole place down while Al was trying to find the right wand, a fortune spent on books and sweets, and a beautiful snowy owl that started an aching in Harry's chest later, and they were finally done.

* * *

Harry was exhausted. Eyelids heavy with sleep, he drove his family down the dark, quiet streets of London, kept awake only by Al bouncing with excitement in the back seat, and the hoots of his restless owl.

Dropping himself down on the couch and pulling his wife onto his lap the second he walked through the door, Harry rested his head on the palm of his hand and sighed.

"I can't believe that Al is starting school tomorrow, can you? It seems like yesterday he was only a baby."

Looking across the room at the raven haired boy that looked so like him flitting around with excitement, Harry couldn't help but realize that Al was anything but a small child anymore. He was eleven, he was starting Hogwarts, and somehow, that knowledge brought a wave of nostalgia for his own time in the castle crashing down over him.

"No, not really. I mean, you remember what it was like to be his age though, you probably waited for this your entire life. I know that my first day at Hogwarts was one of the most exciting days of my life."

"Yeah, there really is nothing like it. I suppose he's lucky, starting his journey and all with seven whole years of all that Hogwarts entails in front of him. It makes me miss it myself," she said, casting her glance down for a brief second, then meeting her husband's eyes, shocking green against warm brown, and running her hand through his wayward hair with a gentle, loving touch.

"They really are growing up too fast, though. Maybe we should have another one." Ginny's face was a mask of indifference, but deep down, Harry knew that she wasn't kidding. She'd always dreamed of raising a family as big as her mother's. Harry himself wasn't quite so sure. He loved his kids, but if three were a handful, any more was sure to be chaos. However, he also knew with certainty that if Ginny wanted another child, he would give in, and she'd have one.

"'m too tired to even think about more kids tonight, Gin. Maybe you could hold off until I'm not dead on my feet."

She laughed at him, dropping a kiss on his nose in apology.

"I didn't mean tonight, silly. I just. It's something to think about. How about we send the kids upstairs and get you to bed. You really do look terrible."

Harry was more grateful for that than Ginny knew. Not only for not pushing the subject of more children, but for understand his deep and all-consuming need for a night of sleeping like the dead.

"Sounds perfect," Harry agreed, rising wearily from the couch to chaperone his youngest child to bed.

* * *

Once again, morning came way too early for Harry, though he was still the last out of bed. Downstairs in the kitchen, he could hear the sounds of Ginny making breakfast, and in the rooms down the hall, the tell tale thudding that meant both of his boys were either packing their trunks or generally wreaking havoc. One was as likely as the other, really.

Ten minutes later, he shuffled into the kitchen fully dressed, and plopped a kiss on Ginny's cheek. She threatened to hit him with a spatula for getting in her way.

"Hey, hey. Stop with the violence, woman. It's not my fault that you forgot that you're a witch when you learned to cook like a Muggle. Merlin, who are you feeding anyway, the entire population of London?"

"I'm feeding this family, Harry James Potter, and I may have bitten off a little more than I could chew. You're going to find out just how much of a witch I am if you keep it up."

Not wanting to the victim of one of Ginny's infamous and incredibly well done bat boogie hexes, and knowing that her mood would be a lot less sour once breakfast was served, he sunk into a chair at the kitchen table and watched her as she moved gracefully, though slightly hurriedly, around the room.

* * *

King's Cross Station was absolutely bursting with commotion when the family arrived, two trunks, two slightly aggravated owls, and one little girl in tow. Lily had been pouting all morning about how she wasn't old enough yet to go to Hogwarts, and how, essentially, it wasn't fair for her brothers to be older than her.

Harry couldn't help but empathize with her, the situation must truly stink.

After instructing Al on how to get through to the platform, which he insisted that one, he already knew, and two, he wasn't a baby, James, Harry, and Ginny, gripping Lily's hand tightly in her own, followed.

Milling around on the platform in various states of disarray, were throngs of children about to make their first journey on the Hogwarts Express, getting last minute reminders from equally haggard mothers.

Looking around, Ginny had to laugh at the sight.

"Mum used to be just like them, fretting over all of us until we thought for sure that either we'd go insane or her head would explode."

"Yeah, I remember. She seemed to worry with me most though, so by comparison I'd say you have nothing to complain about. Do you realize how much like a mother hen Molly can be?"

Harry loved his Mother and Father in-law with a ferocity that sometimes even took him by surprise. They were like his second parents, and he had so much to be grateful to them for. However, he'd be lying if he tried to tell anyone that Molly Weasley didn't have an incredible knack for being overbearing.

Fighting through the tide of people surrounding them, the family made their way toward the spot where they promised to meet up with Ron and Hermione. Finding them in a small huddle, Hermione checking and re-checking to make sure that Rose had everything she needed, and Ron standing with his hands in his pockets, looking rather sheepish and bored, they greeted their friends with brilliant smiles.

"Hi, mate," Harry exclaimed, patting his harried friend on the pack in a gesture of solidarity. "Bad morning I take it?"

"Bloody Hell, Harry. You have no idea. Hermione has been absolutely mad for days, and Rose lost her shoes, and the car wouldn't start, and Hugo, for Merlin's sake. He's way too much like Fred and George. It's concerning, Harry. Do you know how concerned I am?"

Ron's voice rose in pitch to what was almost a squeak, and Harry knew that his best friend was about to really start panicking. Not wanting to have Ron go mad on the platform, he swiftly turned the conversation over to Quidditch without missing a beat.

Nearby, Al, James, and Hugo stood horse playing and talking animatedly about the newest broom out on the market. Harry wouldn't have noticed them at all really, if it hadn't been for the abrupt change in conversation, and the increasingly worried look on his sons face.

Running over to him sheepishly, Al stood by his Dad's side and waited patiently for his attention.

"What's wrong, Al?" Harry asked, turning toward him and dropping down on one knee to look him in the eye.

"What if…" Al started quietly, looking down at the ground instead of meeting his gaze. "What if… I dunno. I know that you talked to me about how it's okay to be in Slytherin, because they're not all bad, and I got my name from a really brave man, but. What if I get sorted into a different house than James, and Rose, and what if I'm alone and I don't make any friends?"

Harry's heart ached at his son's confession. He'd felt the exact same anxiety about Hogwarts before meeting Ron.

"Listen to me, Albus Severus. You are a wonderful young man. You're smart, and you're brave, and you're one of the kindest people I've ever met, and you will do fine. You will make plenty of friends, and by the end of term, you won't even want to come home, you'll be having such a good time."

Al seemed to accept that, brightening up, and flashing his dad a smile. Behind them, smoke billowed from the scarlet steam engine as the whistle began to blow. Pulling his son close, Harry said his goodbyes, turning him around and giving him a small push and an encouraging wave as he made his way onto the train.

As Harry made his way back toward his friends and his wife, that's when he noticed him. A few people away a tiny boy stood alone, fidgeting nervously and struggling with his trunk. It would have been an unremarkable event if it hadn't been for the boy's striking features. Sharp chin, white blonde hair, steel grey eyes, and an air of regality straightening his spine.

Harry was taken aback, suddenly overcome with memories of hate and passion alike, of having his wand at the throat, arrogant smirks, and the way soft lips felt moving against his in hidden moments stolen away between classes.

Heat flooded him, filling every fiber of his being with a longing so strong that he was almost incapable of withstanding it. His cheeks flushed and his heart sped up, skipping along at top notch as he tried to catch his breath.

He'd know those eyes anywhere. They were the same ones he'd forgotten he'd been missing. The same hair and the same presence and he was completely, utterly overwhelmed.

This boy had to be a Malfoy, Harry knew it as surely as he knew his name.

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So that's the first chapter, what do you guys think? I hope you like it. Let me know in a review. Also I want to let you guys know that you can ask questions, leave suggestions by either PM or by following my twitter, which will also have news updates about things. ministryink.


	3. Chapter 2

_Retrospect and Anxiety_

**Chapter 2 - Albus Severus**

The train was packed, overflowing with students and excitement as Al made his way down the aisle searching for a compartment. James had told him last night, in no uncertain terms, that he was not to sit with him and his friends, he didn't want to be the only one with his younger brother riding on his coat tails. He couldn't risk his reputation, he'd explained, with what appeared to be genuine sympathy coloring his words for a brief but fleeting moment. What reputation James had to defend, Al didn't know. Unless of course, he'd been known around Hogwarts as a complete pompous arse-hole. However, James' small show of pity had softened Al toward him a little bit, if only enough not to cause a fuss about having to find his own compartment on the train, no matter how annoying that was going to be.

Finding compartment after compartment full to the brim of older students and swelling groups of first years huddled together hoping to find courage in numbers, Al sighed. He'd spotted Rose on his way by, among a small group of girls giggling about god knows what. His last hope of sitting with someone he already knew died with Rose as he finally accepted that he would be spending the long ride to Hogwarts with a complete stranger. He hoped that it wouldn't be too awkward, but giving his quiet nature, he guessed that it probably would be.

Nearing the end of the train, Al found a compartment occupied by only a small blonde boy engrossed in a book. Pushing the door open and sticking his head around the frame, he found himself working up the nerve to speak.

"Uhm, hi. Do you mind if I sit here? It's kind of packed up front."

The blonde jumped slightly, startled.

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Sit." He gestured to the empty bench across from him with a wide sweep of his delicate hand, and put away his book with polite interest in his companion.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Al replied, moving swiftly to sit on the bench that had been pointed out to him, and looking the boy in the eye. "Hi. I'm Albus, Albus Potter. But you can call me Al."

Taking the hand offered to him, and giving it a small shake, the boy couldn't help but smile. He valued politeness in people, and enjoyed that Albus, Al, seemed to possess it.

"I'm Scorpius Gray. It's nice to meet you."

Al sighed in happy relief, relaxing into the cushions behind him with a small grin. Scorpius hadn't asked him about his name. It was a nice change of pace, really. Not having everyone you meet ask you about your father and his legacy.

"It's nice to meet you too. So, um. What were you reading when I came in?"

"My potions book, actually. I didn't really bring anything other than school books with me, and I was rather bored, sitting in here alone."

"I can imagine." Al retorted. "I have an older brother who's a second year, and a cousin who's starting this year as well, but both of them are hanging out with other people. I was afraid I was going to be alone and bored too."

"I don't have any other siblings. Sometimes I wish I did, though. It would be nice to have someone to irritate every once in a while."

"You don't know how lucky you are that you don't, Scorpius." Al exclaimed, a note of seriousness creeping into his voice. "My brother and my sister drive me insane most of the time."

Scorpius shrugged dismissively, training his eyes on the floor for a brief moment before returning his attention back to Al.

"Do you know what house you're going to be in, yet?"

Al tensed up at this, worry creasing his brow despite his father's parting words. "Uhm. I'm not sure. Gryffindor maybe? At least that's what house both of my parents were in."

"Yeah, I'm not sure either. I think I'd like Ravenclaw best of all, though. I'm um, I'm not so much a social person. I mean, its not that I don't like people. I'd just rather be alone with a few books and a good friend or two instead of being in a large group. They make me nervous, actually, crowds," Scorpius admitted sheepishly, finishing in a tone almost to low for Al to make out.

Al brightened up at that. Maybe he'd found someone similar to him after all.

"Me either, honestly. At least with books, you don't have to worry about embarrassing yourself trying to hold a conversation."

"Absolutely," the blonde agreed, his grey eyes sparking with understanding.

The two boys settled in, talking quietly together as the afternoon passed, interrupted only by the opening of sweets bought off the trolley as it had made its way from door to door. By the time that the train rolled to a stop at Hogsmeade station, Al couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, he'd found his first friend at Hogwarts.

* * *

Seeing the great hall for the first time was incredible, even if Al was still a bit woozy from his trip in on the boats. Candles floated gracefully high above the table tops, bright against the ceiling, as it mirrored the clear, star-filled sky outside.

Al let his eyes sweep the sea of faces before him as he waited for his name to be called for the sorting. At the Gryffindor table, James sat trying to hide his interest and, as he caught his brothers eye, gave him a small thumbs up before turning his attention back to his friends.

At the staff table, Minerva McGonagall sat with her back straight at the center of her colleagues, long hair caught up in a tight bun, and her glasses sat low on the bridge of her nose. Al couldn't help but notice the regal air about her, the obvious formality with which she carried herself, and he felt a surge of respect for her. He knew from his father how much she had sacrificed for the school and how strong she really was, and he knew that he was about to gain an exceptional headmistress.

At the far left, a couple seats down from McGonagall, sat Professor Longbottom. It was going to be hard getting used to calling him Professor after so many years of having him over for company and addressing him as Neville, but he'd have to do it. It wasn't proper to call a professor by his first name, no matter how well he may or may not know him. Looking down upon him, Neville gave him a small wave of acknowledgement and an encouraging nod of his head, and Al's answering smile was brilliant. He knew that this was going to be an awesome year, and he couldn't wait to get started.

The sorting, however, made him extremely nervous, despite the fact that he was so ready to begin the year. Though he knew it was a possibility, he really didn't want to find himself becoming a member of Slytherin House, if only for the fact that James would never let him live it down. If he was being completely honest, Al would have to admit that he wasn't all that excited about the possibility of being in Gryffindor, either. It was a good house, he was sure, it was just. He knew that if he got sorted with the lions, he'd be expected to act a certain way, do certain things because his father did them, and Al didn't want to do that. As much as he loved his dad, he didn't care anything about following in his footsteps. He wanted to be his own person. Well, with the exception of Quidditch. He loved the sport. However, Al also knew that it wouldn't be the end of the world if he decided not to try out for the team, or if he tried out and didn't make it.

Before he knew it, the sorting had begun and Scorpius was standing before the great hall with the tattered, wise old hat on his head. Al held his breath, silently sending his new friend good vibes, and hoping that he got sorted into the house he'd wanted most. As the hat announced a firm 'RAVENCLAW' to the awaiting masses, his breath escaped with an audible whoosh as the Ravenclaw table welcomed Scorpius into the fold.

Pomade, Peter, a tall gangly boy with slightly bulging eyes was sorted into Hufflepuff and then it was his turn. Al made his way up slowly to the stool and took a seat, closing his eyes as the hat was slipped down over his ears.

It only took a few seconds, and it was over. A brand new Ravenclaw, Al jumped up and took a seat beside Scorpius as the rest of the table congratulated him, ecstatic that they'd gained another student. Scorpius' smile was the brightest of all, his steel grey eyes danced with happiness and undiluted excitement, and Al couldn't help but be swept away on the tide of it, found himself swimming in the same ocean of joy without even noticing it was happening.

At the Gryffindor table, James caught his eye and gave him a small nod that Al interpreted as approval, and laughed. James would. He'd have been happy with anything as long as it wasn't Slytherin.

Rose rounded out the sorting, and as she joined them at the Ravenclaw table, the feast began. Al let his eyes sweep over the spread with awe, tucking in, and hoping that every night would be just as incredible as this one.

* * *

A.N.-Well there you go. Chapter Two. What did you guys think? Please leave a review and let me know that you're out there! Next chapter will be Harry's.


	4. Chapter 3

_Retrospect and Anxiety_

**Chapter Three - Harry**

It wasn't often that Harry found himself lost in his thoughts. He'd tried his best to leave his worrying at Hogwarts, thrown as far away from him as he'd thrown the shattered pieces of the Elder wand. He preferred to live the rest of his life as carefree as possible, in part to balance out his chaotic childhood and partly because if he was being honest with himself, he was getting older, and as he did so, found that there wasn't much room in his mind for thoughts that didn't center around his work or family. At least, not without a major headache to boot.

As it were, Harry felt as if a stampede of wild horses were running through his head, his temples throbbing with the pressure of his own musings. He had been sitting in the front room for about fifteen minutes, staring unblinkingly at the wall when Ginny finally dragged him from his own head by standing in front of him and waving her arms as if she were a windsock caught in the throes of a hurricane.

"What in the name of Merlin are you _doing_ Harry, I've been calling for you for ages. You know that Hermione and Ron will be here any minute. Are you planning on seeing them or sitting here like you're petrified?"

"Oh, sorry. Sorry, yeah. I'm coming. I just got lost in my thoughts there for a second."

That was the biggest understatement that Harry had heard in years. Being lost in your thoughts is one thing, but this, this was like being a speck of dust in the desert. There was no way for anyone to know where you were, and no one that cared enough to look. Just this big, endless space, and you, surrounded by the millions of demons in your own head.

"You could help me make tea." Ginny sighed, looking him up and down with a calculating stare. She seemed to be satisfied by what she saw, or at least, she didn't say anything else to him about the state in which she'd just found him.

"You need me to help you make tea? Ginny, you've been doing that in half a second since you were still in school." Harry answered, raising his brows to meet his hairline as he returned her stare.

"Yeah. Well, I'd rather not have you lapsing into a coma again. Clearly, you need supervision. I don't know what's gotten into you. Did something happen at the station? "

_You have no idea_, Harry thought as he followed her into the kitchen.

* * *

The tea and the snacks laid out before them on the coffee table, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny took a seat. Ron looked considerably less harried, now that he'd gotten himself away from the madness of the platform, and Hermione seemed to have relaxed a bit as well.

Harry couldn't help but let his thoughts stray back to the boy on the platform. Who was he, and why did he look so much like Malfoy? Was it possible that Draco had re-entered the wizarding world, and that this was his son? Harry's mind spun like a top, rounding on itself time and time again until he was sure that he was about to be physically ill.

Sensing another change in her husbands mood, Ginny poked him hard on the shoulder and told him as politely as she could through gritted teeth to get his shit together. Aware once again of how good Ginny could be with hexes, Harry straightened up on the loveseat and tried his best to focus on the one-sided conversation that Ron was enthusiastically having with him across the table. His heart, however, wasn't in it. In fact, at that point, Harry didn't have a clue where his heart was, or even, if he still had one at all.

Some time later, after Ginny had excused herself to the kitchen to wash dishes and give the trio some alone time, Ron finally spoke up about Harry's detachment.

"What's going on with you, mate? You seem kind of. Distracted by something," he asked earnestly, resting his hand on Hermione's knee and fixing him with a look that said 'don't even try to tell us anything but the truth. We know you too well for that.'

Beside him, Hermione's face was a mask of concern. Harry loved them, he honestly did, but sometimes he wished that they weren't so…in tune with him, never mind the fact that their constant concern was beginning to wear on his nerves. Could no one just let him alone to be with his thoughts in peace?

Ron cleared his throat, clearly expecting more out of him than just a vacant stare.

Harry sighed deeply, locking his eyes on a spot just above Hermione's left ear as he spoke.

"Yeah, It's nothing really. I just saw someone on the platform that caught me by surprise."

Hermione threw a look at Ron and turned back to Harry, eyebrows raised in question.

"Who in the world could've surprised you so much that you're this distracted, Harry? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I…" Harry started, losing his nerve before he could go any further. He couldn't tell them about this. They never even knew about Harry and Draco's secret meetings, much less about the fact that Harry had seen an eleven year old kid that looked just like him, and his heart slammed into his throat. Yeah, they'd probably question his mental health. Or worry about him being a pedophile. Either way, Harry thought, there couldn't be a pleasant outcome.

Despite his reservations, Harry found himself searching for the right words inside his head, trying to find a way to make them understand without having a complete fit. Not likely. Ron would lose his head regardless. Ron always lost his head in a complicated situation. And it just so happened, that Malfoy was involved. That could only make it worse.

"Um, well. I was talking to Al, you know. He was scared about being alone at Hogwarts and being sorted into a bad house, and not having any friends, and he was really upset so I sat him down, and I said "Albus you are.."

Hermione cut him off with a cough and a pointed glance.

"I know you're stalling Harry. Get on with it. You know you can tell us anything, right?"

He let his head fall, eyes trained on the ground and jet black hair falling in messy strands across his face. Gathering himself for the inevitable fallout, he looked up at his best friends and let out a giant breath.

"I dunno. I saw a kid today on the platform, and he…he looked like Malfoy."

"I don't understand…" Hermione started, looking at him with brow furrowed, Ron however, cut her off before she could utter another word.

"It's the case, Hermione. Harry was just shocked because the boy reminded him of Malfoy, and you know he was assigned to looking for him years ago and he never showed up. Right Harry?"

"Er…"

"It's nothing to get that upset about anyway, " Ron continued, faster now than before. "Personally, I think the world is a bit better off without him, and anyway, a lot of people look alike. It could've been anyone, really."

Harry's stomach fell to his feet. He knew that Ron wouldn't understand. For a second, he lost his courage, and almost changed the subject, but at the last moment, he decided better of it.

"It's. It's not really that, Ron. It's kind of complicated, actually."

When Hermione caught his eye the next time, Harry suddenly felt as if she knew exactly what he was going to say, and he wondered, if maybe she had known all along.

Lowering her voice, Hermione leaned in and whispered across the space that separated them.

"Why don't we discuss this somewhere more private." She'd already whipped out her wand and was casting a silencing charm around them. As she put her wand back in the pocket of her jeans, Harry noticed her throwing a furtive glance at the kitchen door. At that moment, Harry knew that Hermione already knew. She gave him an encouraging nod across the table and gripped Ron's hand a little tighter.

Shakily, he began again. "So um. Yeah, seeing that boy made me think about the old case, but. It was more than that, Ron."

"What do you mean?" Ron asked, the confusion that previously clouded his eyes being replaced swiftly with suspicion.

"Well," he sighed, finally resigned to truth that his words were about to carry across the room. "It's like this. Malfoy and I, well. We kind of… we had a thing. Before the war. We weren't together, but…" Harry cleared his throat, trying to express his next thought without having to say the words out loud. Judging from the small, sad smile that pulled the corners of Hermione's mouth upward just a tiny bit, and the bright pink flush that spread rapidly to across Ron's cheeks, he had to assume that they got his message.

"You…You and Malfoy. You don't mean to tell us that you were shagging, do you?"

There was a note of panicked disbelief in Ron's voice that in any other situation might have made Harry laugh. At the moment however, Harry couldn't have felt further than laughing. In fact, he still felt a bit sick.

"That's exactly what I'm telling you, Ron."

His friend sat with his mouth agape for a few seconds, clearly trying to digest what he'd just heard. Harry counted the grain in the hardwood floor with the utmost of attention, waiting on Ron to go off it. His response, however, caught Harry a little off guard.

"You, _bastard_. Why the bloody hell didn't you tell us, and Malfoy, really? You couldn't have picked someone else, anyone else? I mean, you experimented, so what, but _Malfoy_? Ugh."

"Heh," Harry stared, scratching at his head nervously, and hoping blindly that Hermione would cut in and save him from the awkwardness that settled around them.

"Harry are you, I mean. Well. Do you still care about..about him?" Hermione asked gently, a look of concern for him in her eyes. Shit. This was not what Harry had wanted her to say when she jumped in.

"I… what do you want me to say, Hermione?"

A look of pity crossed over her features as she looked him in the eye. Ron, sitting beside her on the couch, looked angrier and angrier by the second. So here was the breakdown. For whatever reason, that made Harry feel a little bit better, like he was back on his own turf despite the fact that he knew that an argument was coming.

"You. Still. Care. About. Him?" Ron started, enunciating every word in a low, dangerous tone as he stood up and loomed ominously over Harry. "YOU STILL CARE ABOUT HIM? WHAT ABOUT MY SISTER, SHE'S YOUR WIFE."

Placing a calming hand on his shoulder, Hermione guided him back down on the couch, and shot him a stern look.

"Calm down, Ronald. All he's saying is that he's not quite over it yet, and who would be, with the way that Draco went missing."

"Exactly. It took me by surprise, that's all. When I saw that kid on the platform, it all came rushing back, and I reckon I kind of let it sweep me away for a minute. Ron, I swear. I love Ginny and this family and I have no intentions of hurting anyone."

Slowly, Ron began to nod his head, seemingly grudging the fact that he was accepting Harry's explanation at face value.

"Yeah. Of course. I know you don't, Harry. Sorry I lost it there."

"It's alright, Ron. Really." Harry almost smiled, "I probably would've done the same thing if it were my sister."

A heavy silence fell between them, that was only cut by Hermione breaking the silencing charm swiftly and quietly as Ginny returned to the room. They left not long afterward, politely saying their goodbyes and thanking Ginny for the tea.

"It's fine, guys. Really. You know you're welcome to anything in our fridge anytime. Except for you, Ronald. You'll leave us starving."

"Hey!" He mumbled as he walked at the door. As he closed the door behind him, Harry could hear him mumbling beneath his breath. "Bloody woman. She's batty, and rude."

Harry just shook his head, pulling Ginny close enough into the circle of his arms that he could rest his chin on her shoulder.

"I love you," she said, sighing contentedly.

"Yeah, you too," Harry agreed, trying to smile but not quite making it as a pair of steely eyes swam once again into his head.

* * *

A.N- Hi guys! So there you have it, chapter three. I hope you all enjoyed it. Let me know if there's anything that you'd like to see happen in the upcoming chapters, and leave a review to let me know what you thought. Al's up next!


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